The Cat Identity Crisis, Ruthless Ruler or Professional Cuddler

Shannon Willis

The Cat Identity Crisis, Ruthless Ruler or Professional Cuddler

We have gathered extensive photographic proof regarding the subject, a standard issue tabby with piercing green eyes and a very complex personality. The files show a creature of extreme contradictions. Is he a stern overlord demanding respect, or is he just a big softie desperate for a hug? Let’s examine the evidence.

First, observe the subject in his moments of solitary authority. When seated inside his futuristic litter machine, he doesn’t just look like he’s taking care of business, he looks like a pilot commanding a spaceship, staring straight ahead with unshakeable seriousness. He is clearly the captain of this vessel.

The Cat Identity Crisis, Ruthless Ruler or Professional Cuddler
Photo Credit: user/Dangerous-Ad4979/
The Cat Identity Crisis, Ruthless Ruler or Professional Cuddler
Photo Credit: user/Dangerous-Ad4979/

Further proof of his high status is seen on the carpet. He is documented lying down with his front paws politely crossed, looking up like a sophisticated gentleman waiting for an important meeting to begin probably to discuss the tardiness of his dinner service. In other moments, he executes a geometrically perfect loaf, his eyes wide and alert, acting as the watchful security system for the household. This is a cat who means business.

The Cat Identity Crisis, Ruthless Ruler or Professional Cuddler
Photo Credit: user/Dangerous-Ad4979/
The Cat Identity Crisis, Ruthless Ruler or Professional Cuddler
Photo Credit: user/Dangerous-Ad4979/

However, the evidence takes a drastic turn the moment his people are involved. The stern facade completely crumbles.

He is documented wedging himself firmly between his family members on the couch, refusing to let them sit together without him acting as the furry centerpiece. In close up photos, he leans in heavily, pressing his cheek against theirs with a soft, adoring gaze that says, Yes, I am the baby.

The Cat Identity Crisis, Ruthless Ruler or Professional Cuddler
Photo Credit: user/Dangerous-Ad4979/
The Cat Identity Crisis, Ruthless Ruler or Professional Cuddler
Photo Credit: user/Dangerous-Ad4979/

The ultimate proof of his soft underbelly is found when he is asleep. Gone is the watchful guardian, instead, he is face planted deep into a shoulder, totally vulnerable and lost to dreams in the comfort of someone’s arms.

The Cat Identity Crisis, Ruthless Ruler or Professional Cuddler
Photo Credit: user/Dangerous-Ad4979/
The Cat Identity Crisis, Ruthless Ruler or Professional Cuddler
Photo Credit: user/Dangerous-Ad4979/

The dossier leaves us confused. He is clearly a master of manipulation, able to switch from dignified judge to needy toddler in seconds.


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